Here we go again!
It's another late spring evening, just like any other, we were on the hunt for dinner. Preferably somewhere new, as M has mentioned to me that it's been a while since I wrote a blog. Fine by me, anywhere new is a crap shoot, and usually entertaining, if nothing else. The Horny Toad Saloon is no exception. Probably, my first issue with this place is its name. I actually have no idea if toads are regularly horny, or this is a euphemism for something else, but I do know it's a new name - this location has changed owners a bunch of times. At the corner of Elbow Dr and 77th Ave - roughly behind Chinook Mall, it sits on a tiny square of land in the middle of a parking lot. That gives you a good impression already hey? I know.
When we get there M says something to the effect of "if it's packed, we're leaving". He can only assume it will be as it's wing night at 6pm. I secretly hoped that would be the case, but no, it was empty. 3 other tables and 3 bored looking servers. Funny though, because there were a couple of dirty tables. Time to lean, time to clean, right ladies? (Sorry, that's my inner server coming out). Once we chose our seats, in big comfy looking leather chairs our server comes over. She's quick to appear with menus and get our drink order, just as I am quick to get the hell out of these uncomfortable chairs. What a bad idea I said to M, sorry to make him move. But there has been years of random ass on these seats and the lumps are proof. There's a booth across the way, looks good. We relocate ourselves and apologize for moving when she comes back with some beers. So far, so good, just an uncomfortable table, no big deal. Oh, but wait. There's ants. Lots of ants, crawling up the back of the booth opposite us. They're probably enjoying the find - the booth has a yellow substance running all the way from the top to the floor. M is optimistic that its just spilled beer. I am less so, and worried that its a bodily fluid. Remember when I said the servers were all standing around and the place was messy...
Speaking of beer, Bud and Bud Light schooners are the drink of the day, no food specials. I'm usually not one to order Bud for any reason, but when its the most beer for the least amount of money you can convince me. An appetizer of Toad Chips with dill dip starts us off as we aren't starving. For a basket of chips with dip, they are exactly what you expect. The dip was pretty good actually, in hindsight I should have saved some for my fries.
Should we take bets on what I ordered? :) A classic beef dip. Part of my ongoing quest to find the best one leads me to order one here. It's usually a safe bet, pretty hard to mess up and I hardly ever have to modify it. Okay, okay...that's not entirely true. I always add mozzarella cheese to it, so that counts as modifying. But also, so does taking off crap like Horseradish Mayo or saying no onions. Hey, I said 'hardly', not never. M orders the Hot N Spicy Burger, a huge concoction of Frank's Red Hot, jalapenos and Sriracha aioli. When dinner arrives we are both kind of surprised by how good it looks. The place has a bit of a sketchy vibe so you never know what to expect. We are impressed and dig right in. M's consensus is that its a pretty tasty burger, the Sriracha aioli makes it great. He could do without the Frank's but that's a personal choice and still works with the burger overall. My beef dip is just what I was after. Tons of thick cut slices of beef and melt-y cheesy goodness. Yup, that's a good beef dip. I don't think it was memorable enough to be named my favourite, but its gets my seal of approval. The fries on the other hand...they were a solid lukewarm when they arrived and rather soggy. I'm not going to say anything because, really, it's just a side dish. I'm probably not going to eat much of them anyway. But if they were fresh I would have gotten more of that dill dip. That was tasty business. As we wind down both of us comment on how the server hasn't came around to check on us (a pet peeve of mine) and we figure she probably just wants us to eat and leave. We are happy to oblige her. We had noticed the posters all around advertising karaoke starts at 9pm on Thursdays. It's about 815 when we are paying the bill and noticed them start setting up and testing the microphones. Yup, let's just get outta here.
Plates cleared, bill paid and a good few mouthfuls of Bud remains in the glass. Sure our food was tasty but that doesn't make up for lack of cleanliness and uninterested servers. Maybe if the kitchen team served the tables too it would be a destination we'd return to. Clearly they are the only ones who care. Maybe they'll change owners in the future and we'll give it another shot. There's other places to visit until that happens.
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