Long time no write!!

I have a reason, I swear. I have a 2.5 year old little girl. She wears me out. Did you know that as you get older you get more tired? And tired results in fast meals at home and your own bedtime becomes approximately forty-three minutes after they are asleep. When you have a toddler your favourite restaurants have crayons and plastic cups with lids. Sometimes, there’s a moose hat and people sing to you on your birthday. A lot of these restaurants rhyme with Doston Fizza. And other days you want to personally set fire to the building just so you never have to eat there again. The one down the street from us has actually been under renovation for the past two weeks, which has been a saving grace. We have gone to Tony Romas, which was pretty terrible, Brewster’s, which is my least favourite, and learned that Toad n Turtle now allows kids (this could become dangerous)!

However, these are all our local joints and I need a real meal out. Preferably with my spouse, but (as I write this), alone would do the trick. I’ve been waiting for Date Day for probably three weeks now. We knew we were on holidays for this week and when our camping trip got cancelled we decided to staycation. I’m not much of a fan of these types of holidays, but on short notice we had no choice. What we did have was a babysitter. Grandma to the rescue.

As Maddy wakes up from her nap I’m finishing getting ready and go to put on my dress. I get a sideways look from husband that was clear as day. You’re wearing that?? I said “YES! I love this dress. LOVE IT.” I parade downstairs to show my mom who always* has my back. I twirl around and ask her if she loves my dress. She answers with a resounding belly laugh that had her falling on the stairs in tears. She also hates it. I put on the red boots I plan on wearing with it, and the laughter comes even harder. I’m begging someone to give me the approval on my dress/boots combo. Around the corner Maddy comes over and says, “me like”. Oh thank god someone in this room agrees with me! I gather that if I leave the house in this “candy striper” “hospital dress” than my husband will leave me outside the Emergency ward doors and go have his own date. Someone suggests that the dress would look better if it was just with flip flops, and on cue Maddy goes and brings my flip flops to me. Damn it. This dress is a lost cause. I put on skinny jeans and a black shirt. And the red boots. I am not leaving this house without the boots on.
*I have now learned that my mom doesn’t always have my back. ;)

We had been debating all day over where we were going, and we settled on ‘random places we’ve never been on 17th ave’. We parked a block away and just started to walk. In my fabulous red boots. I’ve driven by One Night Stan’s a few times and was always intrigued. This is a perfect start. We walk down the 4 stairs into a small dark and loud bar, that only had 3 other tables. Immediately I get NYC vibes. One of the places we went to was an Anthony Bourdain recommendation called Criff Dogs and this was almost an identical vibe. Loving this already. The seating snakes around the main staircase so as you walk further more seating appears. My first stop is the ladies’ room, and I’m thrown right back into the hotdog joint. They have a folding closet door there and here it’s basically that but broken in two. If you are any larger than me physically, you’ll have a hard time getting in and out of the stall. I have no idea if the dudes’ room is similarly tiny. We seat ourselves in what I can only describe as Prince’s Purple Rain room. Chandeliers and purple vinyl, small tables and a cuddle your partner vibe. The music however is so loud we have to move. A table near the patio is much better and we find their selection of bar games, where Mike beats me 3-1 in Connect Four. This is not the first time he has beat me at that game, with that score. We move on to Uno, because I’m fairly certain I’m better at that than he is. As we play we order a few drinks and an appetizer of Bob’s Fried Biscuits. I was not at the helm of this so when they arrive I don’t even know what it is. I actually asked him “Are these cookies??” No, turns out, they are biscuits, in ball form, deep fried with cheese and then butter dipping sauce. And I really didn’t like them. Good, M says, more for me. I am okay with that, and I would try them again, I couldn’t get over that it looked like burnt balled cookie dough. We wrap up our drinks and Uno game (yes, I did win…to be fair, M didn’t know one of the rules, but that didn’t affect the outcome of the game). We spent the better half of the time there texting my brothers, reminiscing on the nights where we played Uno as a family.

Wandering down the street we analyze every location giving it thought and then finally settling on a place called Betty Lou’s Library. I have heard of it online and there’s no advertising or anything. It’s whole deal is that it’s a secret speakeasy and you have to figure out how to get inside. I was aware of which building it was in and suggested we go a certain way. After being wrong at the first door we find the stairwell and we are golden. This is now the second place tonight that is giving me NYC vibes. We went to a bar there called Bathtub Gin and you enter through a secret door in a takeout coffee shop. There’s a huge bouncer standing on the steps and he gives you a onceover and asks “Bathtub Gin?”. We graciously say yes and are hustled inside. Here there is no bouncer but instead we pick up the telephone and someone inside answers the call. She says she’ll be out and a few minutes later a bookcase opens to reveal a dimly lit, prohibition era lounge. There is nothing big about this location and we are surprised that we are the only people inside. At 6pm we imagined that there would be a small after work crowd. We are told as we sit that there is a Burlesque show at 730 pm and because we don’t have a reservation for that we have to gtfo before then. That was fine by us, so we sit (in a rather uncomfortable chair) and take in the scenery. It takes a solid 10 minutes to order/get our drinks, and they do preface that on the menu; these kinds of cocktails take a long time to make, don’t be impatient. We look at the menu which is all appy style bites and I know that I want more food than that. And certainly, for cheaper. This place is expensive. Capital E. Halfway through our drinks the server lets us know that if we want to stay for the show there happens to be room to accommodate us. We ponder and debate the cost of dropping a whole lot of money here and now, or coming back another night. We decide on another time and when we leave, there’s still only 1 other couple at the bar. Surprising to me.

Our next destination is the Blanco Cantina, a Mexican place across the street from Trolley 5 (the old Melrose). I am left here to get a drink and decide what to eat while M fetches the car so it’s closer to us. Hey, I said I was wearing the red boots, I never said that they are comfy and that I want to walk 2km in them. And as he’s gone I realize that I don’t want tacos and tequila. I can’t figure out what I do want instead, it’s just not that. I ask the server some questions about the tequila selection and chose one for Mike. He comes back and I apologize for making him go that far, but I don’t really want to stay here and I’d rather go back to One Night Stan’s.

We (ahem, I) hobbled back down the road to our beginning destination for some actual dinner. Pulling up to the bar we went through the specials with the bartender and asked him what the rules are for allowing kids. He gave me the most bizarre look and said “What kids?”. Whoops, I guess the family of 6 that was in here two hours ago wasn’t supposed to be? He talks to the other staff and determines he knows what happened, and that there may have been some confusion to the staff about what’s allowed. Turns out children are no good, but dogs on the patio are A-Okay. We order dinner, M had Cajun shrimp and wings, which although the flavor was great, he was annoyed that the shrimp were not peeled. Delicious anyway he said, the wings were kind of meh, but the seasoning on the shrimp was great. He’ll come back for those alone. I had a burger and fries (remember back at the beginning of this story where I said I wanted a real meal? Haha yeahhh…). The fries were fine, they had a bit of a different seasoning on them that I couldn’t identify, but the burger was great. The smash-style with a great thick crust but it was greasy and cheesy. Also delicious. By the end of the night we were in a rush to get home to relieve the sitter, and I sent M to get the car once again. As he was gone I finished up and walked back up to street level. I emerged from the staircase and nearly crashed into a homeless woman pulling two overflowing shopping carts. I apologized for getting in her way and she stopped me briefly, just to talk and she explained that she was pulling her uncles belongings as well, because he’d just gotten kicked out. I wished her luck as I crossed the street when she hollered out “Hey, I love your boots!”

Fucking glad some one does, she would probably have loved my dress too.